Last week I talked about raising your vibration to avoid being a match for harm.

As you shift and enhance your vibration, lower vibrations fall away. Lower vibrations can include viruses, harmful electromagnetic frequencies like EMFs and some relationships that no longer resonate.

Relationships with friends, family or co-workers might shift and evolve, either for better or in some cases, worse. As you may recall, frequencies entrain – which means higher frequencies also donate to lower frequencies. In the case of essential oils, their high frequencies can boost our low frequencies. In the case of relationships, low vibe people can pull you down in an effort to entrain with our energies. Voltage always moves from an area of high voltage to an area of lower voltage. When you hug someone, the higher voltage partner will donate electrons to the lower voltage.

This energetic drain, also known as energy vampirism, can occur consciously or unconsciously. This is a common phenomenon among those who recover from addiction. As they start to heal and up level their vibration, former drinking buddies are no longer a fit.

Others might not realize they are lowering or vibe or draining your energy, which means that while you may not be able to control their actions or choices, you can fortify your own boundaries and make other choices that allow other to raise their vibrations as well.

Why Relationships Shift

As you raise your vibration and change your energy, your relationships that were built on old energy patterns will need to change as well.

Old relationship patterns may no longer fit which can be an incredible challenge and an incredible opportunity at the same time. If your friends and family are willing to shift along with you, the relationships can expand and improve. Old patterns of conflict, struggle or manipulation can give way to easier communication and intimacy.

The key is remembering the following:

You can’t change anyone else
They might try to undermine you and your growth
The only person you can change is yourself, but in changing yourself you can influence others and the collective.

You Can’t Change Anyone Else

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink. I have learned this hard lessons many times in my own life. Some of the people I loved most in the world were the least receptive to my help. At a certain point, you realize that you cannot motivate anyone to change until they are ready.

Other People Might Try to Undermine Your Growth

After Max died, I became more aware of unhealthy dynamics in my personal relationships. In fairness, those dynamics probably existed for a long time but when I had more voltage to spare, I was more able to give my away. The grief process drained me of so much energy that I had very little to spare. It suddenly became obvious which interactions fed my energy and which drained them. Despite my best attempts to communicate clear boundaries that would allow the relationship to continue, I felt continually undermined and manipulated. At a certain point, I realized that I could not set myself on fire to keep other people warm and had to let go of the relationship. In other words, I could not lower my vibe just to match others.

I have come to realize that when things do fall away from your life they are making way for something new. The more work you do to raise your own vibration, the more you can improve and attract new supportive relationships.

Raising Your Own Vibration Can Uplift Others

This starts with self forgiveness and forgiveness of others. When you focus on forgiving yourself and raising your vibration it can help raise the frequency of others as well. For example, the Hawaiian self-forgiveness practice of Ho’oponopono helps restore balance and harmony to relationships through the practice of forgiveness.

By starting with self forgiveness and self love, you can clear negative energies. Ho’oponopono is said in 4 simple parts:

I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
Thank you.

Forgiveness begins with self compassion and essential oils are amazing tools for self nurture and care. I detail how to use Essential Oils for Forgiveness here.

By forgiving yourself and others, you release conflict and holding space for others to raise their vibration and also invite in new opportunity. Essential Oils can help you raise your frequency

READ THIS NEXT: Essential Oils for Forgiveness

Essential Oils to Improve Relationship Resonance

The following blends help you shift into forgiveness and raise your vibration to improve relationship resonance:

Heart™ helps amplify feelings of love and gratitude, helping to increase the amount of love in your life. Every moment of our life we have the opportunity to see the glass as half empty or half full. How we envision each moment helps paint a picture of our actual experience, so why not choose to be happy, to think of and move toward things that bring us joy. Essential oils are a wonderful tool for cementing in that positive frequency. Apply 2-3 drops of Heart™ directly over the heart (left side of chest). During times of intense stress and fatigue, use as often as is needed (every 20 -30 minutes). During times of normal stress, use 2-3 times daily to calm and uplift the heart and the body.

Small Intestine Support™ helps support positive boundaries and confidence to assist in bringing a sense of peace to our lives. When you are struggling with relationships, it can helpful to support healthy boundaries. I find it best to apply over the small intestine in a clockwise direction or around the ears. You can start on the bottom of the ear at the earlobes and gentle massage upward along the exterior of the ear, hitting many of the major reflexology points. This article and chart show specific points on the ears for specific issues.

Liver Support™ allows us to release anger, blame and shame that are often stored on very deep cellular level that can attract or keep us stuck in unhealthy relationships. Just place the bottle under your nose and breathe deeply, fully inhaling the oil for 3 – 7 breaths. It helps you breathe into and work through the emotion. You can also apply it around the ankles as this is often an area where we hold resistance to moving forward in life and block the ability to receive joy and pleasure. Start at the back of the ankle and apply under the ankle bone around to the front and back under the other ankle bone, all while allowing yourself to release challenging emotions.

Lung Support™ allows for the gentle release of emotional grief that so often accompanies growth. In order to grow, we have to leave behind old behavior and thought patterns and sometimes individuals, places and possessions. There is often a deep sense of loss and grief associated with the process of letting go. Lung Support™ helps us release our grief so often attached to negative experiences. You can inhale the oil the oil through the nose, letting the oxygen flow deeply into the lungs, then exhale or apply directly over the lungs.

Rose™ has the highest frequency of all essential oils. It opens the heart chakra and allows you to feel unconditional love. It helps to calm your mind, create a sense of well-being and enhance your capacity for self-love, self-compassion and self-nurturing. It can also help to clear negative energy, promote positive connection and unconditional love and the support to release relationship wounds.

Lavender™ supports your ability to listen to your heart. Lavender helps to release fear and restore balance and inner peace. It can help calm strong emotions, release pent up energy, and allow you to relax, let go of the stress response, and release fear. In this relaxed state you can connect with the heart center and open up to more love. It also supports connecting to your true self as well as bringing buried emotions, thoughts and feelings to the surface (and therefore enabling you to release them and let them go).