Relationships can bring so much to our lives. But they can also be so challenging. Be it a spouse, a child, a friend, relative or boss, some relationships are just plain challenging. But they do not have to be. Understanding other’s love language can help us become closer to them and help them with their specific needs.
Love Language
A great way to ensure more successful communication in relationships to key in on the different ways the people in your life tend to give and receive love.
My son, for example, is very physical and experiences love from giving or receiving large, crushing bear hugs.
My daughter, on the other hand, loves it when I spend quality time with her or do things for her, like bring her a class of water or breakfast in bed. But the opposite doesn’t necessarily hold true. My daughter does not enjoy big bear hugs and my son is fiercely independent and prefers to do things for himself.
Marriage Counselor Gary Chapman identified the five key ways that people express and experience love, which he calls “love languages”. You can identify your love language or that of a loved one here is based on how love is expressed, frequent requests and common complaints. Identifying the primary love language of your partner, child, parent, co-worker or friend can help improve the relationship as it allows the love to flow more freely.
In theory, once you understand the needs of another, it can be easier to fill them. In practice, this can work as well, but depending upon your own love language and needs, it can be challenging to show up in the way that others need you.
Fortunately, several essential oils can help you support your loved ones in their love language.
Words of Affirmation
When your loved one lights up from unsolicited compliments, hearing encouraging and kind words, prostrations of love or the reasons behind that love, but you find it challenging to share your feelings, consider Thyroid Support™ to help clearly communicate. The flip side of this love language are that insults can be devastating and are not easily forgotten. To help prevent those angry outbursts, consider Liver Support™ to help gently release anger. Also consider integrating encouraging and kind words into your daily conversation.
If your loved one’s love language is Words of Affirmation: Set a goal to give your loved one a different complement each day for a month.
Quality Time
This love language often requires giving your loved one your full, undivided attention. For an ADHD gal like myself, it can be challenging to really “be there” with the phone turned off and to do list on the back burner. My daughter loves quality time and her feelings get hurt when I am distracted, delayed, multi-task or fail to make eye contact or listen. To help stay more present, grounded, and in the moment, my go to blends are Focus™, Attention™ or Parasympathetic® blends. This help me feel grounded so I can stay in the moment. If personal boundaries are a challenge, the Small Intestine Support™ blend can help ease any tension.
If your loved one’s love language is Quality Time: Ask for a list of activities they would enjoy doing with you. Make plans to do one of them per month over the next few months.
Acts of Service
This is my personal soft spot. Anyone who wants to help clean my house or lighten my load of responsibilities is welcome with open arms. I love hearing someone say, “Let me do that for you” and have little tolerance for those who add to my work load or fail to honor commitments. My kids know that I feel most loved when they do things for me like setting the table, washing the dishes or walking the dog. My daughter shares this love language and I recognize that supporting it requires a lot of time, patience and energy and Adrenal® and Energize™ essential oil blends are often just want I need.
If your loved one’s love language is Acts of Service: What one act of service do they nag you about consistently? Try pro-actively doing this one task?
Physical Touch
When my son was very little, an astute baby sitter noticed that if she came in and sat down next to him and gently connected via touch when she first arrived, the whole evening would flow better. This is because my child really establishes emotional connection through physical connection. He has always loved hugs, cuddles, and holding my hand and that is how he experiences love. To support your loved one with physical touch, consider Heart™ or Rose™ blend to open your heart or Small Intestine Support™ or Large Intestine Support™ to release any boundary or control issues around physical touch.
If your loved one’s love language is Physical Touch: Sit close to each other as you watch TV or allow them to rest their feet on you.
Gifts
I have a dear friend with this love language. She spends months thoughtfully planning holiday gifts and thrives thoughtfulness and effort behind gifts from others. The perfect gift makes her feel known and valued. On the flip side, her feelings can be hurt by thoughtless or last minute gifts. Oils that help me connect to the generosity and spirit of thoughtful gift giving are Heart™ blend and Rose™.
If your loved one’s love language is Gifts: Keep a “gift idea” notebook. Every time you hear your loved one say, “I really like that,” write it down. And remember, you don’t need to wait for a special occasion to give a gift or a card that shows your love.
I hope this helps you better navigate the relationships in your life. If you enjoyed this email, please feel free to share it with anyone who might benefit or feel free to continue the conversation on our Facebook Discussion Group.
Resources
Ready to get started? Click the links below to order today:
- Adrenal® available here
- Attention™ available here
- Energize™ available here
- Focus™ available here
- Heart™ available here
- Thyroid Support™ available here
- Large Intestine Support™ available here
- Liver Support™ available here
- Parasympathetic® available here
- Rose™ available here
- Small Intestine Support™ available here
